The Devil's Body is Made of Stone
by Elle-ish
Summary: The only thing Kendall wants is to bring James home. All James wants is to be back in Kendall's arms. Why can't their simple wishes come true? Historyfic based on past events, AngstyKames, Au, One-shot


Hiyaa! This is my first Btr fan fic ever. So, hopefully I do alright?

The character's (specifically James) are alittle (*ahem* ALOT *cough*) OOC, atleast that's what I think. And unfortunently, due to where this story takes place and the timeframe it's in, I couldn't find a way to get Carlos into it. (I love little Carlitos, but he just didn't fit. And this story was already long enough... like, scarily long). At first this was going to be mainly Kendall's story, but seeing as how James is my favorite and I love to torture the poor boy, it follows more of what he goes through then Kendall. Sorry Kendall lovers :'(

Also, I don't exactly say when or where this takes place until the ending, but I tried to make it as obvious as possible, so hopefully you'll get it :) I'll just say this, it's in the mid 1900's. I don't know why I didn't say where it tames place until the end, it just sort of ended up happening that way. And, hehehh, we were told the subject for our Essay, which we'll have to write during an upcoming test/exam for History, and me writing this story was actually my way of studying :P I tried to keep it as historically accurate as possible, but as I couldn't find information about everything, I did have to make some parts up. And last but not least, if you actually decide to read this; It's long... I'm sorry -_-

Warning: Minor Language, some disturbing images (potentially?), Kames angst, major James angst (teehee!), non consenual touching, and implied smutt.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Big Time Rush

* * *

"I wish you didn't work on the other side of town." A blond boy said with a solemn tone.

Brown hazel eyes look down slightly to meet green, an apology given with unspoken words. In the overbearing alleyway at the brink of dawn, the two hid from the rest of the world. The blond held the brunet by the waist, before sliding his hands up to hold the taller of the two's face.

He thumbed the familiar cheekbone.

Raising an eyebrow, the brunet gave a sly smirk before stepping away from the touch. Lifting his hands to his chest, he signed, 'I have to go to work. I'll be back in a few weeks, after my shifts ends.'

The boy was a mute. Signing was his most common form of communication.

The brunet's father had been injured during the war, forcing him out of work. His mother was the one to bring him most of money, but it wasn't nearly enough. According to Kendall, the hazel eyed boy was one of the unlucky ones. He obtained a terrible sickness during the peak of his adolescence, which left him in bed and coughing up blood for months. His Mother hadn't been able to pay the doctors bills, it was a miracle he even lived.

He survived, but not without consequences. The doctors told the boy that he'd never be able to speak again.

Kendall cried when he had heard this, but James thought he was just lucky enough to be alive. James, even against Kendall's own belief, considered himself one of the lucky ones.

James was, more often than not, embarrassed that he had to write messages onto paper or learn sign language to get his thoughts across, but Kendall didn't mind. Just to make James feel less challenged and more of the equal that he used to be to Kendall, Kendall learned sign language as well.

It came in handy if the boys ever wanted to say something private but were in a room full of people. Therefore it came quite in handy during school, dinners and even parties.

"I know," Kendall said, glancing around the alley. Less than a handful knew that the boys cared about each other more than friends should. They cared about each other in a way that two boys never should, at least not in this day and age. So, as much as Kendall would like to give James a peck on the lips, he has their lives to think about. They'd surely be killed if they were ever caught.

Kendall sighed, listening to the bells toll in the distance. He would just have to restrain himself for another few weeks. "I just don't like the idea of you in the factory on shift work. 2 weeks on, 1 week off. You never get enough sleep... and I worry about you. I don't like it when you're not by my side. Not after everything that happened after the war. Not during everything that's happening now... I understand that it's too difficult for you to come home in between your shifts, but I hate not seeing you for so long. Or hearing from you. I just.. I miss you."

James felt his lips twitch upward into soft smile. He wanted to roll his eyes, but he had to agree with Kendall. James hated working in a dusty factory, and being away from Kendall and his family for so long was difficult.

The bells of the church died down, signalling that it was now 04 hours in the morning. James had to start his shift in less than two hours. He knew he'd have to walk quickly if he wanted to make it in time.

"You should get going." Kendall whispered, brushing the bangs out of James' eyes. James pouted and glared at Kendall. He hated it when anyone touched his beautiful brunet locks. He worked so hard to keep it looking good. In secret, both boys knew that James loved the soft touches to his head, even if he never admitted. It was just another unspoken secret between the two.

James gave another nod, grabbing his bag of clothes from the ground. He checked his back pocket of his pants, making sure he had his Interzone Pass to go between the zones of the city, as well as a certificate claiming that he was a citizen of the Eastern side of the city.

It was fake, the certificate, but it was the only way he could get the job in the factory.

James pulled Kendall into a reassuring hug, before quickly turning around and walking away.

At the edge of the alley, James looked over his shoulder in pity at the blond, who was slumped against the bricked wall. James signed 'I love you' as he left Kendall's line of view.

This was their routine. To afford the apartment, both boys had to work in rather un-admirable conditions. That's just how it was. 2 weeks on, 1 week off. That was James' schedule at the factory. Even if the East was much more scarce on jobs and food, James managed to get a good deal. Kendall found it ironic; Everyone was fleeing the east side of the city, and there was James, moving towards it.

That boy never did follow the crowd.

They were both used to it now. Kendall knew it was only 14 days. It wasn't like it was going to be a lifetime. He shouldn't be such a sis about James leaving.

... Kendall just wished that he didn't even have to say goodbye in the first place.

* * *

The night directly after James left, Kendall thought he heard a large amount of ruckus outside, but thinking he was only dreaming, Kendall turned over in his empty bed made for two, falling back into a fitful night of sleep.

As dawn approached, the sun forcing Kendall awake, the blond only wished that he hadn't fallen back to sleep. He was praying that he was only dreaming right now.

Outside his bedroom window, he saw barbed wire on the street across the road. It looked to be taller than 6 ft, and it seemed to stretch for miles and miles, right through the heart of the city.

He saw bundles of people surrounding the tall barrier. Each person shared a similar confused expression. One man inparticular interested Kendall**. **His bleeding hands held onto the wire, thrusting it back and forth harshly. He was shrieking hysterically. "I have to get to work. My job is on the other side of this damn thing. How am I supposed to get paid? I have a family to feed!"

At first glance Kendall just thought that the man was over exaggerating. Surely one day away from his job would not mean the demise of his family. With the barrier in the way, the man did have a good excuse for not showing up. Not to mention, the wire had to end somewhere. Everyone just had to follow it until it ended. Who ever put it up couldn't keep it up forever. People had lives to live, jobs to get to, homes to come back to, families to see, friends to visit. It would be against the people's rights to keep the barrier up.

Using his positive outlook on life to remain hopefull, Kendall just thought that a building collapsed or a fire broke out, and who ever put the barrier up was just trying to keep the people safe until everything was clear. Yes, that had to be it.

The barrier would be gone by tomorrow. That, Kendall knew for a fact.

So why fret?

* * *

3 days had passed and more Eastern soldiers had entered the city. The wire hadn't been taken away. It had only lengthened in height, separating loved ones even further. Rumours circulated the city that stones, bricks and rock were being plastered together at the southeast end of town, forming a wall. The city had already been divided mentally by the differentiating ideas of the government. The countries who were trying to take over Kendall's country had already won in segregating the people.

No longer was it only an imaginary split between the four districts of the city, now it was physical between the two key zones. The Eastern city had been divided, separated from the West. Kendall felt his heart stop, his positive mind no longer working.

He hadn't allowed himself to think of it. He hadn't allowed himself to let the image pop into his mind.

James was on the other side of the wall.

* * *

The date was the 27th of August, and Western Citizens were no longer allowed to cross between the two zones of the East side and the West side. Eastern citizens were never allowed to leave in the first place. Western Citizens who crossed the border obtained a day pass, which if they still had by the end of the night, meant that they could leave the Eastern City.

All gates had been closed off the day prior.

James ended his shift at the factory the day after the closings, much to Kendall's disbelief. Surely someone must have told him about the wall. He must have made it across. But... he had two citizenships. One fake, one real. What if the soldiers found out? They'd kill him. James may have already been killed.

Kendall shook the thoughts out of his head ending his momentary freak out. James' shift ended the day after all the gates officially closed. It was difficult to leave the East side once you were inside in the first place. It was only more difficult if you were there before the wire and wall was put up. He was sure that even if the brunet knew, there was no way he could have made it across.

James' Boss was also a jerk who, more often than not, forced James to sleep in the small bunkers at the factory, making sure that the pretty boy didn't leave his sight. Since his Boss thought James to be an Eastern Citizen, there would be no reason for him to leave before his week off.

Kendall found himself running up and down the sides of barrier.

The wires had been fully taken away. The Eastern soldiers worked day and night, and now a wall made of stone, smaller than 6 ft. stood beside Kendall, barbed wire placed on top.

The blond was shaking, trembling in anger.

He wanted more than anything, prayed that the brunet got past the gates. They had gone through everything together, anda small thing of plastered pieces of rock wasn't going to get in between them, was it?

That didn't matter. All that was important was finding James, on his side of the wall or not.

It seemed like hours, but when Kendall ran up a set of stairs made of brick leading to the plaza, he turned, finally finding him.

On the other side of the wall, the boy stood sadly.

He knew. He knew of the wall and he couldn't make it across.

A bruise smeared its way across his cheek.

Kendall guessed that he had probably tried to leave his shift early and that was the punishment from his Boss... or maybe by the guards if he did try to leave through the only opened gate.

Dirt was plastered into his normally flawless hair, and covered his tanned skin. Dark shadows were placed on the bags under his eyes. The hopeless expression that was etched on his face made Kendall's heart tighten.

Both boys glanced around, looking everywhere but at each other. It was too heartbreaking.

All along the wall, people were waving. Saying goodbye. Shouting was prohibited by the Eastern Soldiers. This had been made an unwritten law earlier on, when a sister was screaming at her brother and his family. She wanted to hug her crying nieces and nephews, tell them everything was alright.

The soldiers on her side, James' side, didn't like that. A public beating was presented like a show at the theatre, the guards laughing and shouting obscene phrases while they cracked her bones.

Green eyes met brown once again, and Kendall wished he could shout, wished that he could jump the measly 5 ft something brick wall and barbed wire. He wanted to defile the government and go across the small layer of rock and wrap the mute boy into his arms, the familiar smell of his hair and factory dust tickling his nose.

Said brunet lifted his hand and began to do what so many others were doing; Wave.

Whether the wave was one of 'hello' or 'goodbye' Kendall didn't know.

Inspecting their environment quickly, searching for any guards, Kendall carefully lifted his hands to his chest and began doing something he did some many times since James was sick.

He used his mastered sign language skills and began creating shapes and patterns, forming the phrase 'We'll be together soon' with only his hands.

James could only shake his head. He ignored his trembling chin and the tears that were beginning to form around his eyelids. Mimicking Kendall, James glanced around for any guards that may see him.

Taking a deep breath, he replied to Kendall. "You're not over here. No one can escape. The soldiers are making sure of that." Just in case Kendall had trouble understanding him, he mouthed the phrase along with the words.

Kendall had found out that the wall did in fact go straight through the city. And since the city had been strategically placed on an island, there was no escape. James was trapped at just an arm distance away from Kendall.

"I tried to leave. I couldn't." James signed once again. James caught the glimpse of a guard watching him cautiously, so James just yawned and began stretching his limbs, making it seem like he wasn't doing anything illegal.

The guard nodded and turned away from the pretty boy.

Sighing, both boys stared, watching the pitiful sight of the distressed public. They were lucky. If James had never gotten sick so long ago, the two boys would never have been able to communicate openly.

Mother's were crying for their sons and daughters. Husbands were stuck on the opposite side of the wall, away from their families due to a similar situation that James was in. Grandparents waved at grandchildren. Friends to old friends. Used-to-be neighbours.

Everyone was effected, therefore everyone waved. They waved for a loved one that they may or may not even see.

It was all they could do.

* * *

Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, and weeks slowly nodded off into the colder months of winter. The wall had grown in size, and now stood above both Kendall and James' head.

Only few had escaped thus far, and the soldiers of the Eastern part of the city didn't like it. They couldn't have people leaving. That was absurd. Why would they want to leave the better part of the city anyways?

That, the soldiers didn't understand.

The wall stood for something great. Something more than any one human could ever do. They were spreading the idea of equality. Everyone was equal. No one should be allowed to have more luxuries than another, just because they were lucky enough to be born into a rich family and get an education. It wasn't fair.

Equality was fair. Everyone being the same, treated the same, now that's fair for all of humanity.

Why couldn't these people understand that?

One soldier in particular couldn't grasp why these people were crying. Sure, they were separated from loved ones, but who cares?

He was separated from his loved ones, and had been for months. You didn't see him complaining.

The Eastern soldier's prior musings were cut off as a certain brunet walked past him, head down.

Mischa got this a lot. Don't look at a soldier, and they won't mess with you. But this specific boy had interested him. He always walked this way at night.

In secret, Mischa had figured out the boys schedule by a few minor stalkings during the dead of the night.

The boy, James, worked in a factory closer to the farming areas of the city. It was two weeks on work, where the boy rarely saw sunlight, and one week off. During his week off, he scampered around, sleeping in the streets and stealing food where he could.

Mischa knew the boy hated stealing, but he also needed to survive. And during these times, survival was the key thing.

Mischa ignored all that extra s information though, and only saw what he wanted.

James certainly had the right genes, and was very... beautiful, if you will, for a boy.

The soldiers were told that they were not allowed to harm a female during their mission. But no one had said anything about a boy. And dear lord, it had been months since Mischa had done the deed.

It was only a matter of time before Mischa let himself go and would allow himself to take the boy. Make him his own as he writhed in pain underneath of Mischa.

It was a game to him. See how long he could last before he broke. He was slowly beginning to break. The Itch hit the soldier every time the boy sauntered past him late at night, hips swaying seductively.

Oh yeah, he was going to lose at his own game, but damn, the loser's prize would be so much better than that of the winner's.

* * *

The weeds from between the cracks of the concrete were beginning to welt. The snow began falling from the skies a little more each day.

It had been three months since the wall had been put up.

Three excruciating months.

Everyone still waved. Kendall thought that people would have lost interest by now, but that didn't seem to be the case. It seemed like more people were coming to visit the wall each day, just to wave.

On James side, people were no longer allowed to wave. No signals were to be given.

No communication was allowed.

Kendall and James had never been ones to follow the rules, though.

Kendall assumed that James continued to work at the factory since he seemed to disappear for two weeks exactly every other week. The brunet still needed money, and he still had his Eastern Citizenship, so why not work? It was more productive than sitting and staring at the wall all day. Kendall knew that, since that's what his own days consisted of. Sitting and watching for the familiar head of brown hair and hazel eyes to find him.

The two boys established a schedule. At the 18th hour of each night, Kendall would sit on the stairs leading to the plaza. It was a perfect view to the other side of the wall. James would, as well, sit on a set of steps on the side of a building. Many others sat on the same steps as James did, so he never looked out of place.

In between glances, since they couldn't look at each other for long amounts of time in fear of the guards, they signed.

Words of love, hope, the idea that they'll be with each other again soon.

It was just a small step back for now. They both tried to ignore the sounds of guards adding another layer of brick each week, but it never made them lose hope.

James had mastered the 'Look in another direction and pretend to tap the bricks and steps as if he was bored'. These taps were actually him signing.

Kendall as well had mastered this technique.

Since they could sign without looking, they sometimes just looked like a crazy person who escaped the asylum, or a person with Tourrete's. No one ever gave them a second glance.

"You're hopeless" A females voice filled Kendall's ears. He didn't turn as she placed herself beside him. His eyes just remained on the thinning figure on the other side of the street.

"I know..." Kendall spoke softly.

Katie ignored the feel of the slushy snow wetting her pants as she waved at James. He glanced at her and gave a small wave in return. Truthfully, the 'small wave' could barely be classified as a wave. It was more like a flick of his wrist.

Katie wasn't disheartened. She knew that he was only being apprehensive. No one wanted to be punished by the guards.

"I have to get him back over here, Katie. He's dying over there. He's losing weight. It's obvious he's not sleeping. I don't think he has a place to go at night. Winter's coming, and with his health the way it is, he's not going to survive." Kendall confided to his younger sister.

The bells tolled in the distance, signalling the end of the 20th hour of the day.

The guards walked by the steps that James was sitting on, and began yelling at the group of people.

Kendall saw a quick flash of fear through James' eyes, before the brunet put on a mask, hiding his emotions.

The group of people began getting up and moving away.

The guards were forcing them away from the wall. They were 'too close'. Kendall couldn't believe it! They were already separated and they weren't even allowed to communicate, and now they were being forced apart even further?

Kendall didn't know how much more he could take of this. He let out an angry growl, fingers beginning to clench and rip at his blond head of hair.

James glanced sorrowfully at the two Knight children, signing and mouthing a quick 'I'm sorry' before walking away.

Kendall couldn't help but notice an Eastern Soldier slumped against a wall, whistling at James as he walked by.

James' head fell closer to his chest and he seemed to walk faster away from Kendall.

Kendall only hoped that he imagined the way the Soldier lifted his hand as if to touch James' ass, and the way it fell closer to his side when James ran by, too fast for him to be touched. Kendall hoped that he hadn't seen correctly, but reality was catching up with him fast. Hope just wasn't enough anymore.

Glaring, Kendall let out yet another frustrated cry.

Katie had no idea what to do. She was one of the few people who knew about James' and Kendall's true relationship.

Watching the two being forced apart so young was breaking her heart, as well as Kendall's.

It wasn't fair.

The sun faded into the horizon, unleashing the full amounts of snowfall from the stars above.

Remaining on the damp steps, Katie wrapped her small arms around her brother, hugging him closely. He put his head against her shoulder as the tears finally began to fall.

"It's going to be okay." She soothed.

"It's all over. It's the end."

Katie shook her head, her brother's hair tickling her chin. "No. It's not the end. Because right now, nothing is okay. But that just proves it's not the end. Both of you are still alive. People are still escaping from the Eastern part of the city. There is _still_ hope."

"But h-he isn't here. You saw the circles under his eyes. He wouldn't be able to climb the wall in a million years... Katie, I'm not okay. He's not okay... Nothing is okay."

"You're right, Kendall. It's not okay. If it's not okay, then it's not the end. That's what Dad always said. You just need to remember that."

Kendall remained in his sister's embrace, snow softly blanketing their bodies as Kendall continued to cry.

But Katie was right; If it's not okay, it's not the end.

* * *

James walked down the alleyway, ignoring the pounding of his head that begged him for sleep.

The snow was falling, and the concave of his stomach growled for food.

But James refused to steal. He already did the day before, and he wasn't going to lose to temptation again. He couldn't fall asleep either.

Truthfully, he was scared that if he fell asleep, he wouldn't wake up. This idea only increased in his mind, poisoning it. The boy only wore a slim coat, and snow was already falling heavily. He wouldn't make it.

A barrel made a slamming sound behind James, further down the alleyway. A loud cuss emitted itself through the air.

James stopped in his tracks, seeing if the person who dropped the barrel was alright. The brunet glided through the snow, back in the direction he had just come. He watched with concern as the blacked out body picked itself up from the concrete.

When the person was up and steadying him, flicking off bits of melted snow from his jacket, he gasped when he turned to see James.

James couldn't see the man's face however, as the light fell opposite of his head, but when the man reached out for him, James knew he was in trouble.

Squeaking, James tried to run, but lack of energy and dizziness forced James to only make it a few steps before muscular arms encircled his waist.

He was so dizzy from the lack of food that he couldn't concentrate.

He could barely notice his back being slammed against the wall. His head was throbbing so much.

The buzzing sound lessened after only a few seconds had passed. The words 'Beautiful' reached his ears and he felt a pair of lips fall softly against his own.

James' eyes instantly fluttered shut. He imagined the lips belonging to Kendall.

Did Kendall find a way across? Was he coming to save him?

James' overly joyful thoughts were quickly replaced as he felt the kiss being deepened, an unfamiliar tongue forcing its way into his mouth.

James felt the taller, more muscular body pushing against his own, hands running up and down his sides.

When the brunet finally allowed himself to open his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the tuft of brown hair the man's head. He recognized the face as the Soldier who always whistled as he walked past. This was the soldier that always tried to touch him.

By no means was this Kendall. This man, this person, was the complete opposite of Kendall.

Kendall was gentle, lean, blond, had sweet green eyes, and was only an inch shorter than James himself.

This guy, however, was huge. In length and muscle. He could probably break all of James' bones in one tight squeeze if he wanted to.

The kiss began to get more forceful, and the Soldier's hands had made their way to James' ass, where they were currently gripping and massaging with all their might. He was hurting James.

James squeaked in his position against the wall. He fisted the clothed part his attacker's chest and threw him towards the ground.

His attacker slid due to the snow, and James took his chance and dashed.

James had to get away. Now.

He could hear the soft pit pats in the snow behind him, coming closer and closer.

James, running on adrenalin, ran down to the streets as quickly as he could, running through every alleyway and up any stairs and through any plaza's that he could find. Anything that could help him lose his attacker in the maze of the city.

James seemed to be successful for the time being, but if he wanted to escape, he had to find a place to hide. A place with a roof over his head.

James sighed, running a hand through his wet locks.

Maybe... Maybe his Boss would take James in.

James' Boss, a horrible man in James' eyes, had _hinted_ that James could stay at his place.

He even _hinted_ where he lived...

And James just happened to be staring directly at the apartment where his Boss had _hinted_ that he lived in.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

James ran into the apartment building, finding himself face to face with a door.

Knocking it in a panicked state, his boss opened wide the door. His face contorted from confusion, amusement and exhilaration, all emotions crossing his eyes within the span of 2.5 seconds.

The Boss stepped aside and allowed the teenage boy in. A lustful, yellow toothed grin spread across his face as he licked his lips.

"Well, it looks like Mute Boy has finally taken the offer. What took you so long, Sweetheart?" The elder man asked. His long eyelashes batting his rosy cheeks as he tried to wink, which from James point of view, just seemed more like a severe twitch.

James wrapped his arms around his own waist, trying to obtain warmth.

"Cold?" James nodded numbly at the question, staring down at the dirtied floor.

"Well, sit on the couch, I'll bring you a blanket. I wouldn't want you withering away."

James did as instructed, not wanting to anger his Boss even if he wasn't at the factory.

His wet body shook. James was completely aware of why he was truly here. The deep green eyes filled with a burning lust. The neatly combed blond hair. The semi-lean body structure.

Take away 20 pounds and 20 years, add a better personality, and James' boss was practically Kendall. James was not a naive person by any means. He understood the looks and overly long touches his Boss always gave to him. He knew that he was getting himself into trouble, but right now, he could really care less.

He had no way of returning to his family, friends, or his loved one. He was tired. He was cold. He was shivering from being wet. He was trying to forget about the certain forceful kisses and touches from the Eastern brunet haired Soldier.

All he wanted was protective arms to surround him and tell him everything was going to be alright. He wanted to feel that warmth again.

A thin blanket wrapped itself around his shaking shoulders. Large hands massaging the wet linen, trying to make James feel as comfortable as possible. Feeling pressure being put on a certain overworked muscle near his neck, James let out a shaky breathe.

If he had a voice, it would have been a moan. Both men in the room knew that, and the idea just made the Boss's cock twitch in excitement.

The older man walked around the couch in an instant, sitting down and wrapping his arm around James, pulling the boy closer.

James allowed it. He leaned into the touch.

He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be here.

But the calloused hand that ran up and down James' arm was a sensation that hadn't been felt for so long. James couldn't bring himself to leave.

The scent of alcohol and tobacco filled James' nose. This only frightened the boy more, his brain screaming for him to run and get away. But, his shaking limbs weren't listening. James wasn't listening to what his mind was telling him.

He just wanted to be close to someone who wasn't a Soldier.

The elder blond's other hand slowly eased its way to the brunet's thigh. When the boy didn't grunt in displeasure or move away, the Boss continued on. His fingers danced on the fabric, pinching the skin underneath ever so softly.

He chuckled when he heard James' stifled gasp.

The boy's head sank into the crook of his neck, cuddling up even closer to the heat next to him.

The boy was starved for affection, that much was obvious.

The Boss, taking control of the other's vulnerability, allowed his fingers to reach the wanted destination, dancing and teasing over the brunet's zipper of his pants.

James allowed it completely.

He didn't move away when the fingers opened the up his zipper.

He didn't show any signs of disapproval when he felt his Boss move his own hand over the bulge of the other's erection.

He didn't stop the situation when dry lips attached themselves to James', gently prying his mouth open with a strong, pink muscle.

He didn't even push away when arms finally wrapped around his waist and dragged him to the bedroom, where things only became more heated.

His boss was right. He needed affection... No, no. That wasn't it. James shook that thought away as soon as it entered his mind. It wasn't the affection James was after.

He needed to feel loved.

And it had to be the kind of love he felt from a certain blond.

He didn't want to be lonely anymore. This was his last resort, and damn it all if he couldn't find even a mere moment of love on this cold winters night.

* * *

Things were going downhill for James. And fast.

After the infamous night with his Boss, a secret James would keep with him until the grave, his Boss began to believe that he owned James. That James was his at every moment of every day.

He would hide James' earning at the end of the day, blackmailing him for a kiss or even something more, to show James that he now had to earn his money through dirty actions.

James continued to work in the factory, dreading the moment when the Boss's hands would fall onto his body, forcing James to go through things that he had yet to even experience with Kendall.

James needed the money. He hated stealing food, it was against every one of his morals and beliefs.

So, he did what he had to keep a clean conscious. A conscious of a soul that wouldn't go to Hell for stealing a stale loaf of bread.

He would go to Hell for what he was doing with his Boss, that was for sure, but seeing as it was for James' own survival, his conscious wasn't so burdened with that particular problem.

Tonight, James was lucky.

Only a quick peck on the dry lips was expected, and James was given his money, allowing him to leave for his week off.

James smiled sweetly as he exited the factory. His Boss gave him extra money today. It still was barely enough to survive, but he had a little bit extra.

Luck was definitely on his side. Or, as the French of the Western part of the city said, '_Il a de la chance ce soir'._

There was a Bakery only a few blocks away where he could buy bread to eat that night. It was cheap, and would allow James to buy another loaf later on in the week.

No matter how many hours he worked, James never seemed to have enough money for 3 days worth of food. Prices were going up due to the wall and the falling snow. Imports from the outlying areas were harder to come by.

James sighed as he entered the bakery, the warmth and smell of freshly baked bread filling him.

"Good evening, Sir. What can I get for you?" a kind voice greeted. A perky girl with short blond hair was behind the counter, smiling widely at James.

James pointed towards the Day-Old bread rack, seeing one loaf of bread left. The girl, recognizing the mute, understood immediately what he wanted. "Perfect. I'll put that in a bag right away for you." She smiled.

James nodded , mouthing a sincere 'Thank You'.

James looked around. The bakery was a small one. There was a large window on the opposite wall to where he was standing. A few tables and chairs had been placed on the floor if customers decided that they would like to eat their purchased food in the warm and well- lit area, rather than the street or their own cold houses. The lights illuminated the yellow tinge of the walls, and accentuated the rotting tiles of the ceiling.

The building may have been crumbling to the ground, but it definitely had no effect on the friendly atmosphere.

The only thing that could ruin the positive environment was the soldier on the far end of the room, reading a newspaper while eating a scone and sipping his coffee. He was the only other customer in the bakery.

So much for luck being on James' side.

Turning his head slightly, James observed the soldier without staring directly at the kid. He had never seen him before. The boy, who seemed to be around James' age, had short raven hair that lay flat on his head. He was mouthing the words that were on the Newspaper, obviously more interested in the stock market than the captive victim before him.

"Excuse me, Sir, but here's the bread you asked for." James jumped at the sound of the voice behind him, seeing the girl still smiling widely towards him. It would be cute, if she wasn't thrusting the brown paper bag into his chest.

"Oh, and don't worry about the money. This one is on the house." She said with a wink.

James opened his mouth to protest, but the girl placed her boney fingers on his lips.

"I insist." With that she bounced back behind the counter and around a corner, getting started on slicing bread. A small laugh from the soldier sent shrills down James' spine.

James turned to leave the confines of the Bakery, but dark brown eyes had landed on him with a gasp, forcing him to stay in his place.

"You're- you're the boy that Mischa always talks about." The boy observed and called out to James, his voice putting emphasis on the wrong syllables due to his thick accent.

James shook his head, and tried to sign that he wasn't who the boy thought he was, but found that to be difficult with a bag of bread in his hands.

A wide smile presented itself on the raven haired boy's face.

"Ya, ya you are. You just signed at me! You're the mute boy- Oh, this is fantastic!" He shouted enthusiastically.

James felt his heart quicken. Things were never good when a soldier decided to take interest in you. The girl was behind the corner, cutting bread through a loud machine. She couldn't see or here to the commotion on the other side of the bakery. This left James to his own devices.

He could make a run for it, but he felt that that wouldn't be a good idea. The consequences were much too severe if he decided to run away from a soldier.

The raven haired kid, boy, soldier-person thing raised himself from his seat, situating himself in front of James in only three steps.

"I wouldn't be too scared of me." The also shorter boy, James noticed, said with a friendly smile. "I don't bite, really! I'm just here to help my country and be a soldier, but that's not why I'm excited about seeing you. Umm, well, you see- uhh... hehehh! I'm sort of, you see, taking night classes at the University here. It's one of the best if I want to become a doctor. An-and one of my courses is sign language. And... well, I sort of have an exam coming up, and sign language is something that doesn't come naturally to me. Do you think you could help a man out? A real life mute could be the sort of training I need. I've always been a more hands on individual." The small boy was rubbing his hands together in fear of James saying no. He had the most pleading eyes James had ever seen.

James could only blink in response.

... What?

This soldier wanted to what? Use him as a study partner?

That was the strangest yet most intriguing excuse if James had ever heard one. But seeing the gun placed on the edge to the soldier's table, he began to tremble in fear.

He couldn't say no.

God, he hated this situation.

The raven haired boy noticed the brunet's shaking. "Oh no, no, I didn't mean to scare you! It really is just for studying! I'm being completely honest, and as weird as that sounds, it's true! We could even study in here if you're free, and wanted to. You don't have to, I mean, I imagine you have a life and all but- I could really use the help. Please, please, oh pleaaase help me!"

The raven haired boy was literally on his knees at this point, begging James to help him study.

... James was shocked, needless to say. People had always said that the eyes were the pathway to a person's soul. They showed everyone's true emotion.

This boy was definitely no exception. His eyes seemed to express fear, anxiety, and sincerity.

It was the sincerity that through James off, yet also made him relax (even if it was just a bit).

The brunet sighed, nodding his head. The raven haired soldier shot up off the ground and pulled James into a one-sided bear hug, completely forgetting about James' loaf of bread.

"Oh thank you! Thank you! Now I won't fail and I then I can go to Medical School and- Thank you!"

He pulled James to where he had been sitting previously, lowering the taller brunet into a wobbling wooden chair on the other side of the table.

"By the way-" The soldier began, moving the newspaper that had been previously abandoned out of the way, pulling out his notes from his studies. He glanced at James, another lopsided grin plastered on his face.

"My name's Logan."

* * *

Another full month went by, and not much had changed, other than the wall growing further in size.

The only thing that had _really_ changed was the leering eyes from the Eastern Soldier.

Logan told James his name was Mischa, and that James should watch his back. Mischa had made it known to the other soldiers what he wanted to do with James, most of the details being rather graphic and gruesome.

In actuality, what Mischa said about James made Logan want to throw up, tear his limbs off and hide in a small dark cave for the rest of his miserable existence, but Logan never told James that. The mute boy was already fearful enough as it was.

Logan, who hated Mischa with his life, had taken it upon himself to make sure James stayed safe, offering a place to stay and food to eat. Logan lived by himself in a civilian neighbourhood, rather than the soldier's living sector of the town. The two never had to worry about being caught by the law. Their friendship wasn't something to be permitted. The fact that they even talked to each other with kind words was against the government's orders. Logan could be killed for what he was doing, but felt like he owed his life to James after he aced his Sign Language exam.

In the month that they had known each other, the two boys had established a powerful friendship. Logan confided in James that he missed his Mother back home, and he would do anything to go see her again. But he wanted to make her proud. That was one of the main reasons he came to this City.

His dream of becoming a doctor was going to come true, Logan felt it, but the only way for him to afford the University and even come to the city in the first place was if he became a soldier for the military. So that he did.

Logan told James everything.

Once James learned about Logan's hopes and dreams, James told Logan (through written notes since Logan's sign language wasn't as impressive as Kendall's) that someone he loved very much was on the other side of the wall. James told him that he tried to meet up and communicate with them as much as possible.

James never told Logan who it was, but Logan didn't care. He just nodded and held James in his arms, understanding completely. He sometimes felt the loneliness too, being so far away from home.

After a particularly bad day with his boss, one which left James limping and bruises marring his normally perfect body, Logan decided that he needed to sit the boy down. "It's the blond boy, isn't it. Your special someone is the boy who always hangs around with that little girl. You two sign to each other, don't you?" Logan asked without a hint of disgust. He was intrigued, and wanted to know so he could help out his friend. Even if his friend was 'technically' the enemy.

James gave a slow nod, unsure if he should be saying the truth about his love life, but Logan had proved himself so far, why would he turn his back on James so far?

"James... what would you do if I told you that I knew about a weak spot in the wall. A place where you could escape and be with him again?"

James tore his unseeing gaze away from the carpeted floor, shocked hazel eyes meeting Logan's dark brown ones.

"No, it can't be." The brunet mouthed.

Logan could only nod his head.

Logan hadn't fully believed the information when he heard about the weak spot, but after an escape a few days ago in that particular area, Logan found out that the rumour was true.

"James, I'm so happy that I met you, and I care about you a lot." Logan began, taking James hands into his own.

"But you don't belong here. You're losing weight, you're constantly dizzy, stumbling around, and that Boss of yours is certainly not helping you out in any way, shape or form. You're falling apart, and I can't stand it anymore. You need to get out of here. I can help you do that. I promise you, Jame. I can help you reunite with that boy."

James stared at him, his best friend of only a month.

"What's in it for you?" He mouthed silently.

"I guess, just knowing that you'll be alright. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. He loves you. And when you're at the factory, he just sits on those steps all day, staring, waiting for you to walk by. He needs you, just as much as you need him. He's breaking, and it's because you're not there with him... I guess, what's in it for me is the same reason I'm here for my Mom. When I'm a doctor, I can take care of her. I can be assured that she'll be safe. What I want to give to my Mom is the same thing that the boy can give to you. Just knowing you'll be happy and in good health is all that matters to me."

Unshed tears made their way to James eyes. His chin began to tremble, but once again, James forced the tears away. He rubbed his sleeve viciously against his eye lashes, letting out a dry sob.

It took a few minutes for his breathing to return to normal from the near breakdown he was about to have.

James couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. Logan could see that James thought he was lying. In frustration, Logan shook his head furiously.

"James!" Logan reached his hands and grabbed the pretty boy by his cheeks, forcing him to look at Logan. "You're going home. I'm going to get you home."

* * *

The plan took two days to coordinate.

Logan told James that during the construction of the wall, Soldiers had become lazy and just used existing buildings as a part of the barrier. There was place down north that was a prime example of this. An abandoned apartment building, to be exact. The guards set up a barrier on the front door so people couldn't break in, but since the barrier was just a few measly pieces of wood, it was easily diminishable.

Windows still framed with glass was on the other side of the apartment building. The building's entrance was on the Eastern side, but if the contained victims could escape through the windows on the other side, they would land in the Western part of the city.

Once on the West side, a law stated that Eastern Soldiers were not allowed to shoot the refugees.

They escaped and were allowed to walk away.

Every soldier followed this rule. It was a sense of pride and honour. They wouldn't dishonour their country by breaking the law.

The plan of escape was simple. James would leave his workplace when his shift ended. He would take his money and run out of the factory, before his Boss could force him to stay until his shift the next day.

James had built up some muscle, and since he was eating a meal at least once a day, his energy had increased. He could run away from his Boss if the elder blond decided to chase him.

It was simple. Now all it took was actually putting the plan into action. He would have to leave the factory and meet up with Logan to show him the directions to the 'secret windows'.

James was going to escape. He was going to see Kendall again.

His heart pounded against his chest. He felt like he was going to faint. Excitement and nerves built up inside him, making his stomach twist and turn.

When he reached his Boss's furnished office for his earnings, he noticed the familiar scent of alcohol that filled the room, the nerves growing increasingly in his stomach.

"Ahhh, there's my pretty Mute. Come 'ere!" The man slurred sleazily. James shook his head, trying to slowly move towards the desk where he knew his money would be. Just get in, grab the money, and get out. Fast.

"What da ya mean 'No'? No isn't an option. Get ova here and give Daddy a kiss!" The man cried with enthusiasm, the erection becoming blatantly obvious to James through the man's trousers.

James once again shook his head in defiance. Seeing the envelope with his name on it, he began reaching for the piece of paper.

"Oh-ho ho... Are you going against my commands? Someone needzz to be punished." With that, the Boss launched himself haphazardly towards James.

James, sensing the drunken attack, grabbed the envelope and dashed towards the door. His hands were just landing on the golden handle when muscled arms wrapped around his torso, and roughly tossing James' body down to the ground.

He hit the floor with a thud. His back began to ache from the impact, but James wasn't going down without a fight.

The body that tossed him straddled his fragile hips. The Boss began punching to teenage boy into oblivion.

"Oh yah, someone needs to be punished." He said fervently, thrusting the bulge between his legs against James' thigh.

A sudden rush of adrenalin hit the burnet. He lifted his hips and gave the man a perfect right hook. The Boss wasn't shocked by the hit and immediately retaliated.

The two rolled and wrestled on the carpeted ground as if their lives depended on it. Even with all the food James had been lucky enough to consume, his energy level and adrenalin began to dwindle away into nothingness, letting the Boss gain the upper hand in minutes.

James found himself laying on top of his boss, his back against the man's fat stomach. The Boss's arms were entangled under James' armpits and over his shoulders, hands meeting together at the back of James' neck. The Boss brought his legs up, wrapping them around James' flailing legs.

James kicked and punched, but he was in too much of an awkward position to do any damage against the body beneath him.

And it wasn't like he could just _scream_ for help. He had to do this on his own.

"Oh, I got you now." The Boss growled under James' writhing form with a mix of rage and lust.

The brunet kicked and flung his body left and right. No use. He let lout gasping breaths, hoping somewhere could at least hear him struggle.

And of course, as per usual, no such luck. No one ever came.

James immediately shuddered as a pink tongue teased his earlobe, nipping at it gently.

"You're mine." He whispered easily into James' ear.

That was it. James had places to be and people to see. He had been away from Kendall's side long enough, and damn it, this thing that didn't deserve to even have a name wasn't going to stop him from getting home.

Not this time.

Feeling the large hand begin to wrap around his mouth, James bit down onto the flesh as hard as he could. He could taste the metallic liquid running from the man's palm. The shriek that the man let out made James smile. He knew that he did his job well. He let go the hand, using the Boss's temporary pain to blindly attack him.

James removed his arms from the Man's muscled ones, lifting his torso up from the man's stomach as if he was halfway through a sit-up. Turning his waist, he elbowed the man harshly. He struck right in the middle of the blond's face.

The man let out a loud cry, feeling a few teeth loosen and the droplets of blood from his nose beginning to dribble down his face.

It was payback. For all the times in the last month and a bit when James let the man take control of his body, for taking his money, for not letting James leave when rumours about the wall began to speculate around the factory. This was James' payback.

With a wicked grin, James untangled himself from the drunken, bloody heap upon the floor. He grabbed the envelope that had fallen, placing it in the back pocket of his pants.

He continued to smile as he watched the man shake on the ground in pain. He placed his fingers to his lips, blowing a kiss to his former Boss before waving goodbye.

This was James' sweet, sweet revenge. And damn did it feel good.

* * *

Kendall was shocked to say the least when James ran by two's usual meeting place. He shot Kendall a quick glance, before signing 'North. Abandoned buildings. Where we played as kids. Go. Now.'

Kendall's face contorted with confusion. What the- It was official. James had finally snapped. The boy had finally gone crazy, especially since the burnet's dishevelled appearance displayed just that. Crazy. Hair not in perfect order, bruises against his cheeks, dirt erratically layered against his torn and shredded clothing.

Kendall watched as James, _his_ James, rushed down the street, only staring in one direction. Something tugged at Kendall' heartstrings. He should move. He should follow him along the wall.

Maybe James heard about a place where Kendall could finally talk to James with words, without anyone hearing?

And for the first time in weeks, Kendall sat up from his seat on the stairs, and began walking for more than a mile. Whenever the boy had gotten up previously, he only went home to sleep. His house was only a block away, so the blond hadn't gotten the most exercise as of late.

He followed the concrete wall, hoping he still knew the path to where he and James had played so often as children.

James, on the other hand, truthfully didn't know if it was the same apartment building where he and Kendall played when they were kids, but he had a strong hunch.

And right now, James was acting purely on instinct. He had stopped running about halfway from the factory to where he was now. He stopped running when his mind began functioning again, replacing the survival mode he thought he was stuck in.

If he was running, that might cause suspicion, which would mean that soldiers might follow him or stop him.

No, that couldn't happen. So instead, James settled for a fast paced walk, even though he so badly wanted to run, get to and through the windows as fast as he could.

His quick walk didn't force anyone to look at him irregularly, except for one god awful Eastern guard; Mischa.

Mischa knew the boy. He knew the boy never ran anywhere unless he was being chase...

Mischa called for another soldier to take his place at the wall, stating that he was taking his lunch. He immediately started following the ignorant brunet.

James didn't notice this however, his mind was elsewhere. He was going to the West side. He was going home. Nothing was going to stop him. Not now. Not when he was this close.

He was going to be in Kendall's arms by the end of the night. He could tell.

Hope was finally starting to come back to him.

* * *

Logan saw James round the corner in a hurry. Reaching into his back pockets, Logan grabbed onto a slip of paper with printed directions to the weak spot of the wall.

There had been escape recently, so rumour was that the soldiers were going to be taking away the windows and replacing the glass panes with more bricks.

Rumour had it that the soldiers were going to be starting that process within the next two days, whenever all the bricks had arrived.

Logan knew he wouldn't be able to stop James and talk to him in a decent fashion, not whilst in the public eye. He was a soldier. Unless a civilian was going against the rules, Logan was never supposed to interact with the non-soldier beings.

Which is why he had a paper slip ready for James. James walked by Logan, giving him a hopeful smile. The two pressed their hands together. Logan held on for a second longer than he should have, making sure to give James a reassuring squeeze. This was the last time he'd ever touch his friend.

James grabbed the piece of paper from the palm of Logan's hand, and reluctantly let go of the other boy. He would say goodbye, but had to keep moving. Glancing at the slip of paper, he was momentarily surprised by how close he was, stumbling against the bricks of the road beneath him in emphasis of this fact.

He only had another two blocks... He only had another two blocks to go!

Logan couldn't help but let the grin cross his lips.

James would probably be one of the last few peoples to escape the East side of the city. He would be one of the last to actually make it over the wall.

Of course, Logan knew that there was a very high chance that James may not make it across. If the brunet boy didn't, well... Logan didn't want to think of the consequences.

The chances of James being caught was rising as Logan noticed the horrid soldier Mischa following the brunet.

... This couldn't be good.

Glancing around, Logan let out an aggravated sigh. Could they have just one break? Just one?

There were no other soldiers on James' tail, but if Logan didn't help, Mischa may end up ruining their entire plan.

Placing his head into his chest, slumping his shoulders, Logan began following the two men.

He hated fighting, but if it meant getting James home, Logan would have taken on an army.

* * *

After an excruciating 5 minutes of trying to tear down the wood that was nailed on the front entrance, James entered the old building.

The spider webs hung low from the ceilings. The sudden rush of air from opening the door and the light that followed it made dust fly and dance across the room. The un-choreographed patterns made James cough loudly. He hid his nose and mouth behind his clothed arm, waving the dust away from his face.

He ran through the lobby and up the stairs. The aged building creaked under his weight as he threw himself up each of the steps.

Finally, finding himself on the 4th floor, he found the room that was on Logan's sheet of paper.

This should be one of the last apartments that had a window. He just hoped that Logan was right.

He glanced around, taking in his surroundings one last time, as to make sure no one had followed him. After a few moments of pure silence, James' breathe and heart beating spastically the entire time, James slammed the wooden door open with his foot. The door handle flung off, smashing into millions of pieces on the ground inside the room.

It was a small apartment. A living room with moth bitten furniture, covered in a heavy blanket of graying dust. A small kitchen, a bathroom, and a room behind a closed door, which James believed to be a bedroom. Nothing too exciting.

The one thing of James' interest was the concrete building on the other side of the street. A women facing him, hanging out the balcony shouting below. She never noticed the man in the building directly opposite of her.

He could see the other side of the street. He could see the buildings. He witnessed the falling snow. He could see it all through the window.

Oh, hallelujah!

James threw his hands in the air in a victory punch,. He would have shouted in pleasure if his voice had allowed it.

Running to the window, James let himself have open last moment to himself on the Eastern side, as he peered through the invisible glass.

People were walking along the street, happily and merrily. Everyone one was dressed in long stylish coats, hats, scarves and warm boots. They laughed, talked, danced around the street, catching falling snowflakes with their tongues.

The winter and problem with imports had obviously had no effect on them. Everyone looked healthy. Happy. Safe.

James felt a small tinge of jealousy.

He would be leaving everyone on the Eastern side.

He would soon have enough food, a house to live in, warmth and love.

But what about everyone else? They would remain trapped. They had no warm clothes for the harsh winter months. All of their apartments filled with cold air at night due to rotting walls.

James had to shake his sympathy away. He had to remember his goal. On the other side of the window, where the concrete ground met wall to where James was looking down, was home. It was his home.

It was where Kendall was.

With a determined look, the brunet stepped back at least 3 feet. Lifting his foot off the ground, he slammed his heel into the window.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Until...

The familiar sound of shattering heightened the boy's spirits. He continued to kick the glass, succumbing to punching it when a shard of glass marred the skin within the shoe.

Soon enough, the boy would be able to crawl through the window without causing further damage to his body. All the glass had been broken and tossed away.

A large group of people noticed the noise coming from above, and knowing about the escapes that had recently been happening, they were all excited that they were finally witnessing one in action.

They were helping someone escape from the Eastern side. They might even be interviewed by the local newspaper for helping! Ohh, how exciting!

The group of people formed a circle underneath James, hands up, ready to catch the Mute when he fell.

Taking in one last breath, James lifted himself out of the room. He squeezed his feet and calves first through the window, his waist following shortly after.

He manoeuvred his body as his torso began to slide down the ledge, turning his body so his hands could remain on the edge of the window, still inside of the room. His back was turned to the public and the brunet could still see inside the apartment.

Sliding himself a bit more, he hung in the air, hands raised above him, holding desperately onto the ledge, feet kicking the thin air. Just as James was working up the courage to let go of the edge and fall from a 4 story window into the weak arms of humans, a man appeared in the doorway.

The sight James' hands clinging onto the windowsill almost gave the young man a heart attack right where he stood. "You bloody asshole!" He screeched, lurching himself at James.

James heard the man's cries, and out a loud squeal in distress, letting go of the ledge immediately.

"James!" The man cried, watching as the hands lifted themselves off of the wooden window pane.

James could feel himself beginning to fall, the rush of air between his arms and sides. He was almost home free.

His momentary happiness was quickly interrupted. Two large hands shot out from the other side of the window, latching onto the upper part of James' body, sliding upwards to grasp James around his biceps.

James looked up in shock. Mischa, who's torso was halfway out the window holding onto James, shot the most sickening glare the hazel eyed boy had ever seen.

It sent shivers up his spine and forced the poor boy to gulp in fear.

"You aren't escaping that easily, Hot Shot." The Soldier hissed for only James to hear.

The public went crazy underneath James, shouting at the Soldier to let the boy go.

Mischa ignored the cries and continued to stare manically at James. "I haven't gotten a chance to play with you, yet. I haven't allowed myself the opportunity. But you're my prize. And one thing about my prizes' is that I never let them go."

James' eyes widened at his words, feeling himself slowly being lifted upwards, back towards the window, back towards the room. Back into the Eastern city.

James writhed around in the man's arms. No way! He was this close to freedom. He was this close to home.

The pervert of a Soldier was not stopping him, not at this point!

James tried to swing his body, kicking the air beneath him in hopes that the force would create tension on the man's grasp.

The man only held tighter to James, fingernails digging into his skin. The sudden digging and ripping of flesh forced a pained gasp to be emitted from James' mouth. Mischa laughed, loving every moment of the boy's pain. Oh, he was so going to have fun when the boy was back in the room. Mischa was finally going to take him. The boy was finally going to be his!

James, as anger and bile rising from Mischa's sick fit of laughter, bit into the flesh that held him. He kicked. He attempted to punch.

To no avail, his elbows were now already back inside the room, where they had been only minutes ago.

James could feel himself beginning to cry.

This couldn't be happening. Why? Why? He was so close.

As he felt his waist hit the edge, torso and head already back inside the room, James lost all hope.

It dashed away like a deer in the forest as he was pulled back into the abandoned building.

A sudden flash of raven hair shot across James' line of vision.

"_What's going on?"_ Logan cried out to Mischa in their native tongue. He tried as hard as he could to keep the fear out of his voice.

Logan could see James hanging, tears streaking down his face. The sudden cry shocked Mischa, forcing him and James to tumble back out the window yet again. Mischa was hanging onto James by a thread. But his grip remained tight. He wasn't letting go that easily.

The brunet was suspended in mid air yet again, tears continuing to mark his beautiful tanned features.

Mischa felt his body growing heavy holding onto the boy. Even if he was too slim, Mischa was holding onto him in an awkward position. No amount of weight lifting and training could help him in this situation. He felt himself slowly sliding towards the ground beneath them. He needed help! _"He's trying to escape. Now help me out and get the kid back onto our side!"_ Mischa cried in terror.

Following orders, Logan entered the room and shimmied his upper body through the small window, carefully avoiding the broken glass. He let his hands numbly place themselves onto the fabric of James' shirt, grabbing James gently along side of Mischa.

A sadistic grin appeared on Mischa's face as they began to pull the boy back into the building. James' eyes continued to let tears fall, glimpses of confusion and heartbreak evident for all the world to see. It was due to the betrayal he felt, seeing Logan, his supposed friend, pulling him back into the James' hell. The betrayal, and the freedom he momentarily felt being taken away so quickly.

Logan grimaced. He promised James that he was going to get him home. He didn't promise to let the boy have a small_ taste _of freedom, before being dragged back into this horrid world yet again.

Logan loosened his fingers on the fabric, watching the sweat radiate off of Mischa's chin.

The soldier wasn't going to last long.

"_Here, let me get him in. You're getting tired. If you keep holding on, you're going to damage your own muscles_." Logan yelled out quickly.

Without hearing Mischa's answer, Logan carefully moved his hands to where Mischa's were previously placed, grabbing hold of the terrified boy, hanging in the air.

As soon as Mischa began to loosen his grip, Logan let his amazing skills of acting take over. He swiftly kicked Mischa, knocking him out of the way so quickly that Mischa didn't even know what hit him.

Logan thrust himself over the edge of the window, making it seem as though James' weight was too much for Logan to handle.

In seconds he analyzed the situation. There was a group of people wanting to aid James, jumping up and down to try and grab hold of the boy's lengthy limbs.

Western policemen were running towards them as to offer more help.

In the middle of the group, a blond head of hair and striking green eyes watched in dread.

He held his arms out the furthest in the air, as if they could automatically grow the needed number of inches to grab James.

Smiling, Logan let go of the James' arms, letting the boy fall onto the other side.

At that moment in time, suspended in the air as if in slow motion, the wind whisking through his hair, James swore he saw a bird glide over his head. A twitch spasmed at the edges of James lips.

He smiled.

_I'm free._

Bundles of hands and arms made their way onto his body, catching him.

They weren't like other hands James had experienced. They were gentle, comforting. They didn't want anything more from him other than the knowledge that the boy was safe.

And finally, finally at this moment, when James was softly placed onto the concrete in shock, did he finally double over and truly cry.

Tears upon tears fell from his hazel eyes as he finally let himself break for the first time since the wall was built. His body shook from the tremors, sobbing at the fact that he almost didn't make it. Almost.

A pair of arms wrapped around themselves around James' waist, pulling the boy onto his lap on the ground. Without even needing to look, James knew who it was.

The brunet collapsed into the gentle embrace, wrapping his arms around the neck. His grip tightened, showing that he was never letting go.

In his mind, James was loving every gentle kiss that was being placed against his forehead, nose, cheek and chin.

Neither of the boys cared who saw.

To the people, the two teenagers just looked like separated brothers who were reunited at last, rather than lovers.

At least they had that much luck on their side. No matter the situation, homosexual relationships were still forbidden by the government.

"You're home, James. You're home." Kendall's voice came out as a weak sob, voice muffled since his mouth was placed against James' hair. His grip only tightened on the shaking body.

Both boys were on the ground, holding each other and trembling violently.

They were supposed to be seen as men. Men who never cried and shook in time of weakness.

Again, neither boy cared. And from the soft touches of the other people's hands, other people that neither James nor Kendall had ever met in their lives, the boys knew that the public didn't care about them showing weakness either.

The unspoken 'I love you's' in the shape of kisses never stopped. Kendall was soaking up every moment of having James back in his arms. He had gone so long without this feeling. He had almost forgotten how well their bodies fit each other.

Kendall was so scared that this was a dream.

He wouldn't be surprised if it was just a dream. His mind had been playing tricks on him lately, but as he softly pinched James' back, a whimper escaping from the brunet's lips, did Kendall realize that he wasn't inside a dream.

In Kendall's dreams, everything was silent. He could hear everything now.

It wasn't a dream. James was home.

"You're back, James. You're back in West Berlin! You made it, I'm so proud of you," If at all possible, Kendall's death grip on James only tightened. "You're never going back to East Berlin again. You're never going back. An-and, those damn Communists, those bastard Soviet Soldiers will never harm you again! I promise, James, I promise! I- Oh god..." Kendall's voice cracked at the last words of his sentence. He was now rocking himself and James back and forth in the most child-like yet comforting manner possible.

James was hurt. He was in pain.

And now, Kendall was going to finally take away that pain. He was finally going to step up and protect him again.

"You're back."

Kendall placed another hard kiss against the sobbing boy's sweaty forehead.

He knew he sounded like a broken record, repeating the words 'You're back. You're back.' But those simple words were just too important to Kendall. They had to be emphasized.

"He should go to a doctor." A voice called out.

If Kendall didn't know any better, he could have sworn the voice was coming from directly above his head, where James had been hanging moments ago. But he didn't know better. All that Kendall could grasp was that James was back. Safe and somewhat sound.

"No. Not yet. Not yet. Just... let me bring him home for now. Just for one night, and I'll take him tomorrow. To the hospital. But- Right now. I don't think he could handle doctors..." Kendall whispered numbly.

In his mind, he was really saying '_I just got him back. I just want to bring him back to the apartment. Our home. Please don't force him away from me again. Please don't make him disappear again. Please?'_

"He needs a hospital." Another blurring voice called out again, this time closer and to Kendall's right. The voices didn't fully register in Kendall's mind, all he heard were the disturbing sounds of James sobbing in his arms. That's all he cared about.

The blond slowly rose to his feet, the group of people supporting his weight the entire way. He automatically tightened his hold on James' waist, before bringing one of his arms down underneath the brunet's knees, picking him up bridal style.

Kendall began walking away.

"I'm bringing him home... I'm bringing him home."

_Finally._

* * *

Fanfic complete!

Ya... I reallllly should have made this into a multi chapter :p It's freakishly long, as stated previously and as seen above, so if you actually made it to the end, Congratulations! I think you should get a prize, haha :)

Hope you enjoyed it! (I have difficulty writing in 3rd person POV, 1st is just so much easier. And fight scenes and body positions are like death to me, so the end near killed me. I felt it was sort of anti-climatic in a way, which I'm not to proud of. But as of right now, I kind of just want to get this uploaded :p) And hopefully I'll do well on my 'Berlin Wall and the Cold War' test :) Luckily I'm still in High School and I have a really easy teacher, so it shouldn't be too tough... I hope -_-

And if you decide to review, please no flames! Thankk you:)


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